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Wikipedia:Peer review/Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute/archive2

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Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…

As far as I can tell, this article hasn't be reviewed in over four years by anybody!


Thanks, Besselfunctions (talk) 23:45, 16 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from EricEnfermero

Just a few comments from the first few sections:

  • In the lead, some of the larger numbers are awkward as words.
  • Do we need to add III to van Rensselaer's name since I, II, and III all appear to be notable people?
  • In the history section I would specify what role (congressman I think) van Rensselaer held when he organized the school.
  • "The fact that the school..." - might start that sentence with "Eaton's reputation allowed the school to..."
  • "strongly resembled a graduate school more..." - I think you can get rid of strongly.
  • First sentence under Since 1900: move "for the fourth time" to the end of the clause.
  • Under Campus, I would clarify "gradually moved to the hilltop".
  • Under Postwar expansion, get rid of "interestingly". The last sentence there is also pretty long.

Good luck! May come back and try to leave more. EricEnfermero HOWDY! 08:47, 27 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]