Wikipedia:Peer review/Richard von Weizsäcker/archive1

Richard von Weizsäcker

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have done some work on this since his death. I welcome every comment on the article's quality especially considering what needs to be done to bring this to GA-status.

Thanks, Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:30, 11 April 2015 (UTC)

Comments by GermanJoe

By no means a complete review, just some suggestions for possible improvements:

• Infobox - "President of West Germany". I'm not a legal expert, but "Office abolished" in this part of the infobox looks incorrect (afaik all state institutions continued in their normal constitutional roles, with a few adjustments for the reunified territory of course). I'd just repeat "Reunification" here to indicate the lack of a "successor".

Done You are right, someone changed this a couple of days ago and I only switched the first one back.

I've done something controversial now... On second thought about this, I decided that a separation between President of Germany and President of West Germany is bogus. I therefore merged the two in the infobox. I'll put that up for discussion on the talk page... Zwerg Nase (talk) 11:31, 16 April 2015 (UTC)

• Lead - It's difficult to choose and summarize, but the lead should have more information about 1) his views and role in important political discussions 2) the main stations of his career. Currently the lead doesn't provide a good overview about all notable aspects of his life.

Done

• "Political career" - I would put the first few sentences in a separate section as well, and merge them in 1 paragraph. The 1974 events are in the wrong order (they should be later in the paragraph).

Changed the order here a little bit. I'll try to make this section better by expanding it a bit more.

• "Political career" - Try to avoid and merge stubby 1- or 2-sentence paragraphs.
• "Death and funeral" - I am not sure that Kohl's absence should be mentioned without acknowledging his frail health here as well. The relevance and background (why didn't he attend?) of this detail are missing.

Valid point, I took it out for now.

• Consider putting 1-2 of his most notable sentences in their own quoteboxes to make them more visible.

Good idea. I'll see that I expand on the 8 May speech and put quote boxes there. Maybe another one later from the 1997 Spiegel interview as soon as I find it.

• "Other activities (selection)" - consider splitting this in "Other political activities" and "Social activities" (or any other meaningful split) to organize the information a bit more.
• "Other activities", "Honours" and "Ancestry" seem to have almost no references. This could probably be a problem at B-level and will likely be questioned at higher levels.
• "List of state visits" - consider moving this hidden list to a separate article if it can be sourced, or delete it otherwise. It doesn't add that much to the main article. Visits with additional notable information are mentioned in the main text anyway.

Still on search for a source. If I don't find one, I'll take it out.

• "Honours" list should be formatted consistently (the different Iceland and Malta entries are distracting).

Done

• "References" should be inserted before "Literature". Also, "Bibliography" is more common than "Literature" for this section - see MOS:LAYOUT.

Done

• "Literature" - the cite book parameter "pages" is only used to include the referenced pages of a book, not the total of all pages. If the whole book is the reference, the parameter should be removed.

Done

I won't have time for a full prose review unfortunately, but the article is informative, mostly well-sourced and structured. Nice work improving the coverage of this important topic. GermanJoe (talk) 03:04, 13 April 2015 (UTC)

I'll take care of these things step by step today and maybe tomorrow. In any case: Danke für die guten Anmerkungen! :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 11:08, 13 April 2015 (UTC)

I have polished a few refs meanwhile. Btw, please don't use "done" or similar graphic templates (see instructions on top) - I took the liberty and changed them to regular bolded text. GermanJoe (talk) 21:20, 13 April 2015 (UTC)

Oh sorry, I adopted that from other reviews here. Thanks for the polishing! I'll be able to fix some more later today. Zwerg Nase (talk) 08:10, 14 April 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Csisc

First, I thank you writing a work about Richard von Weizsäcker, a political leader of Germany who had led the unification of Germany by the end of the Cold War. The article is excellent as it involves many details about the political history of this German Leader. The part about the circumstances of the demolition of Berlin Wall is important and fructuous... However, the work lacks from many facts that are important for a work about a great personality:

• Childhood: The work does not give minor information about the circumstances in which von Weizsäcker had studied and grown up. The early life part can be expanded by consulting the German Work. I think that you should include more details about how he got married and how he had studied when his father was travelling from a country to another to represent Germany... There are minor details about the situation of the Family in the period of war and After war. The reference that proves that Von Weizsäcker has four children is not efficiently given.
• Honours: The part about Honours received by this German Leaders lacks from significant references. This should be resolved if you want that the work gets the desired FA Status. The other activities part also seeks from the same problem... You have probably to merge both parts and cite more references to give more trustworthiness to the part.
• Publications: The part about publications should involve the ISBN of the books of von Weizsäcker. It should involve more details about the books and their structures. You should involve also the name of the publisher. You can also write some comments given by leading people about these important books. You can cite comments written in leading journals in Germany. So, you have to expand this part in order to let it more efficient.
• Religion: It is clear from the work that von Weizsäcker has a major religious function in Germany. However, a part about the religious life of von Weizsäcker does not exist. You should expand all details you provided about the religious thoughts and responsibilities within Germany in a new part. This will give a better overview about the personality of this great leader and give more importance to his social works in the German Community.

So, try to work on the parts I cited and feel free to answer me if you like further information about what I have said.

Yours Sincerely,

--Csisc (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for your comments! I'm hoping to be able to do massive work on this over the course of next weekend. Zwerg Nase (talk) 15:02, 27 April 2015 (UTC)