Wikipedia:Peer review/Salsa Big Band/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate Salsa Big Band to GA (the album recently won the Latin Grammy Award for Album of the Year) and I think the prose can be improved. Thanks, Javier Espinoza (talk) 01:36, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
Comments by Mike Christie
[edit]I'm copyediting as I read through; please fix anything I mess up.
All the arrangements were helmed by Roberto Delgado at the end of 2015, and went to record the album on January 2017
: "helmed" is jargon/elegant variation; I'd change it to something more straightforward. However, there is something wrong with the syntax here. If "helmed" means "produced" or "created", how can the album not have been recorded until 2017? And I don't follow "went to" -- the subject of "went" is "arrangements"; what does it mean to say "the arrangements went to record the album"?- The long quotes at the end of the repertoire section aren't that easy to read; this is all in Delgado's voice, of course, since it's his quote. I think it would be better to put this in Wikipedia's voice, and use the quotes for illustration. Something like "Blades wanted to "recover the sounds of the great bands", said Delgado, who felt that the need for a large orchestra to create the sound Blades wanted discouraged artists from trying to reproduce the big band sound. "Traveling with such large orchestra is a problem", according to Delgado. Twenty musicians..."
I can't tell whether the coverage is complete, but I think this is in fairly good shape and would probably get through GA. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:50, 17 December 2017 (UTC)