Wikipedia:Peer review/Scotch bonnet (shell)/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
We've listed this article for peer review because we are trying to imporve the article with hopes of making it to a GA status. We would like helpful tips that could potentially develop the article further. We appreciate and will consider any advice that you can give.
Thanks,
Scotch Bonnet Team
Finetooth comments: This is a good start, and GA is a reasonable goal, but the article needs much more work to reach that level. I did a bit of proofreading as I went and added a couple of metric-imperial conversion templates by way of example. I explain below how the inline citations can be added, and I'd be happy to do one for you if you tell me where it should go. Here are some suggestions for improvement.
Heads and subheads
- Heads and subheads in Wikipedia articles start with a capital letter on the first word, but subsequent words begin with a lowercase letter unless part of a formal name (proper noun). Thus "Origin of Name" should be changed to "Origin of name" and so on.
done
Lead
- "The family Cassidae contains medium to large size shells which occur in tropical and temperate seas." - Tighten by deleting "size"?
done
- "Of these species 22 species are commonly found in the Western and Eastern Atlantic. From which most occur from the intertidal down to about 100 meters in depth." - The second sentence is not a complete sentence, and I note other problems. Perhaps you could combine two sentences, thus: "Twenty-two of these species, most of which are commonly found in the Western and Eastern Atlantic, occur from the intertidal zone down to about 100 metres (330 ft)."
done
Please note my linking of "intertidal zone", which might be unfamiliar to many readers, and the conversion of metric units to imperial. I like to use the {{convert}} template for the conversions because it gets the spelling and abbreviations right as well as the math. done
Still need Wikilinks though!
Description
- "Once dissolved the shell gives off the glistening white appearance." - The shell isn't dissolved. Suggestion: "Once the oils are dissolved... "
- I added another conversion template (slightly more complicated than the example above), and you can mimic it for a conversion further down in this section. Also, you should decide whether imperial or metric is primary and then use it first in the conversions. You used meters (metric) in the lead section but inches (imperial) in this section as the primary; choose one or the other and stick with it throughout.
done
Snail's development
- Wikilink mantle?
Habitat
- "The typical habitat for these animals is tropical areas... " - "Habitat ... is" is singular, but "areas" is plural. Maybe "habitats ... are"?
- "By describing the sand as shelly, it describes a plethora of shell fragments, and this is typically found in area were ocean current is rough." - Awkward. Suggestion: "Shelly sand refers to a plethora of shell fragments embedded in sand, and it is typically found in areas where ocean currents are rough."
- "Divers and local fisherman frequently find the Scotch bonnets approximately 50 to 150 feet offshore." - Metric conversion needed. Ditto for others lower down in the article.
- "They are commonly associated with the offshore Atlantic Calico scallop beds." - Wikilink Atlantic calico scallop?
- "Ironically, the scotch bonnets thrive in shipwrecks." - Who says that is ironic? A source might say that, but Wikipedia editors can't add their own judgments (even if they are correct).
done
Behavior
- Wikilink veliger?
- "When the veligers matures it sinks to the ocean floor." - "Veligers" is plural, but "it sinks" is singular.
- "Scotch Bonnets are predators, creeping along the ocean floor on a bed of slime secreted from the glands on the bottom of its foot." - "Predators" is plural, but "its" is singular.
- "they feed on echinoderms" - Wikilink echinoderm? I'll stop listing these, but in general you should link or explain any terms that might be unfamiliar to many English-speakers. It's more likely that they would be puzzled by '"sand dollar" than they would by "Scotland". You have to use your best judgment about what to link.
done
References
- I see that you are already using the "cite family" of templates but haven't figured out how to embed them as in-line citations. Just add a pair of <ref> </ref> tags where you want the inline citation to go in the main text. Copy the entire template (which I see you've already filled in) to your computer's short-term memory and then paste the template between the pair of ref tags at the exact place you want the footnote number to appear. Save the page. Internal software will automatically transfer the information in the template to a properly arranged reference in the "Reference" section. If you tell me where in the text you would like the existing citation 1 (Friday, Sarah) to go, I'd be happy to do one of these in-line citations for you by way of example.
done
I hope these suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 21:51, 24 November 2009 (UTC)
- It would be helpful if you removed the "done" templates above and simply wrote done. The templates add to the load time and slow down the PR machinery. Finetooth (talk) 16:17, 4 December 2009 (UTC)