Wikipedia:Peer review/Shakugan no Shana/archive1

Shakugan no Shana

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm a fairly big fan of this Anime series, and I'm quite curious to know what other Wikipedia editors think of this article. It has had some restructuring lately thanks to user Juhachi, and I would want to know what other parts need improvement so that I or other Wikipedians can work to make it a Good Article.

Thanks, Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 04:08, 26 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

My comments

Lead should include a summary of the reception somewhere
The plot section seems to blast users with in-universe terms in the first paragraph. It would be better if the terms were introduced in the same order as the plot for better flow. Instead of listing all the character names, try linking them their "rank" to their respective sections.

~~Particular examples? I don't see any terminology in the lead. Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 03:28, 27 April 2012 (UTC)~~ My bad, I thought you were referring to the lead. The reason the plot section is like that is because it resulted from when the Terminology, Plot and Characters sections were merged. Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 03:31, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

As Shana is a very term-heavy series, there's going to be a bunch of terms no matter what. Doing it this way seemed to be sensible as it gives the reader the impression of what the setting is like before actually getting into the plot and characters.--十八 07:52, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

For the international release/licensing, is that all of them? If not, it might be better to reword it as "... was licensed in countries such as ...".

Should broadcasting on Animax and Animega on TV5 count? Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 03:28, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fourth paragraph in anime section needs to be sourced.

Hard to find sources. Any leads? Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 03:28, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Final paragraph in video games also needs to be sourced.

By the way, can the part be in the Reception section? I've seen other anime articles where appearances by their characters appear in the Reception section rather than a media section. Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 03:05, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

See if there are reviews for the second and third anime series.

DragonZero (Talk · Contribs) 21:30, 26 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

ANN and Mania.com doesn't seem to have reviews for Second or Final. My favorite site THEM Anime Reviews doesn't have reviews for Shana at all. Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 03:28, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Actually, Final was just reviewed by ANN yesterday. Well, I was planning on beefing up the reception section eventually anyway. The final paragraph in the video games section would be better suited in the reception section as a part of its legacy.--十八 07:52, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done with the moving to reception part. Currently finding English or Japanese sources for Shana's appearance in Dengeki Gakuen RPG: Cross of Venus (so far I've only found unreliable sources). By the way, I found these three sites. Are they reliable or not? Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 11:21, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I don't know about the first one, the second link is broken, and the third is a blog and shouldn't be used. The official website of the game could easily be used, which I'll do now.--十八 20:51, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Siliconera is one of those situational/avoid-if-you-can sources over at WP:VG/RS. This article at Impress Watch should work, though. -- クラウド６６８ 17:51, 1 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]