Wikipedia:Peer review/Spice Girls/archive2

Spice Girls

Second request. Tell us anything that needs to be improved on the article. --Winnermario 01:36, 13 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

I did it for you, but next time archive the old request instead of blanking it. It's at Wikipedia:Peer review/Spice Girls/archive1. -Greg Asche (talk) 01:44, 13 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Section titles: Some problems, especially with the very-similar-sounding In the beginning and Birth of Spice. More clear, less cute?
"...it is claimed that they are the biggest-selling girl group of all time, with reported sales of over forty-five million albums and thirty million singles." Should be able to pin that down to a specific authoritative source and lose "claimed" and "reported" weasel-words.
In the beginning: The writing in this section often sounds non-encyclopedic and like it was written from the point of view of someone in the room with the band. Example: "Things became tough when many arguments broke out, and the tension was only increased by promises of a record contract that never seemed to materialise". It needs to be established how we know this information. If it is based on specific quotes, use them.
"In 1996 they changed their name to 'Spice Girls'..." Maybe I missed it. What did they change their name from?
You missed it. "Touch". --Winnermario 15:43, 15 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
So I did. Sorry :-) Bunchofgrapes (talk) 20:10, 15 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
Birth of Spice: Consider shorter sentences. Some of these long multi-clause sentences are a headscratcher to untangle.
Five become four: "This was a shock and Geri was extremely frustrated, and only added to her desires of leaving the group." How do we know it was a shock, and she felt frustrated? Similar to the writing problems in the In the beginning section.
Career records and achievements: I don't like sections like these ("lists of trivia") and would prefer to see the information in the appropriate sections.

Bunchofgrapes (talk) 03:46, 14 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]