Wikipedia:Peer review/Strawberry Fields Forever/archive3

Strawberry Fields Forever

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want it promoted to Featured Article.

Thanks, Kodster ^{(heLLo) (Me did that)} 22:16, 5 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
- What makes the following reliable sources?
  - http://www.icce.rug.nl/~soundscapes/DATABASES/AWP/sff.shtml
    - Written by Alan W. Pollack, a notable musicologist and expert on Beatles.
  - http://oldies.about.com/od/thebeatlessongs/a/strawberryfield.htm (note that about.com isn't usually considered a reliable source)
  - http://www.beatlesbible.com/
    - removed; replaced w/ reliable source
- current ref 29 (Beatles Bible) is lacking a publisher
  - again, removed

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 13:18, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Since I have reviewed this twice already, I am not sure I have the distance to review this well, but here are some suggestions for improvement. There are pretty nit-pickyIf you want more comments, please ask here.

It seems to me that the direct quotes like "I buried Paul" in the lead should have refs too - see WP:MOSQUOTE
Since McCartney wrote the intro to the song, should this be mentioned in the lead (where it seems to say only Lennon wrote it)?
Should there be a link or brief explanation of double-tracked in The chorus functioned as a bridge instead, with Lennon being double-tracked.?
Need to make clearer who the the Swedish television director is in It was directed by Peter Goldman—a friend of Klaus Voormann, who had recommended the Swedish television director to the group.[48]
Usually try to avoid "today" in things like "Strawberry Fields Forever" was well-received by critics, and is still considered a classic today. perhaps "As of 2008" or something similar?

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:14, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]