Wikipedia:Peer review/Texnikoi Engineering Honorary/archive1

Texnikoi Engineering Honorary

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.

From the article creator

I'm requesting peer review for this article. Please be kind lol. This is my first wiki article so I'm still learning. I'm very interested in your constructive criticism though.

Thanks for your time. OlYeller^Talktome 22:08, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments: The first thing I will say is that your first wiki article is better organised than my first article was, in November 2007. There are, however, some immediate things which you can do, to bring the article more into line with wiki policies.

Familiarise yourself with the Wikipedia Manual of Style (WP:MOS)
Do not use bolded characters in your text
Do not use capitalised words in your text
Do not use bullet point format for short "lists" of two or three items. These should be rendered into prose.
Do not use bald links within the article, such as the TNK Homepage link in your infobox. This should be shown as an external link, in the appropriate section
The infobox information is largely inappropriate. Birth date and age are appropriate for individuals but not for organisations. I suggest that you look at the infobox of another article on a college organisation, perhaps Phi Beta Kappa, and remodel yours on that.
Terms in the article should be wikilinked at first mention, not thereafter. You have linked The Ohio State University at each mention.
Look for other opportunities to link to other articles, e.g. GPA, sophomore, Mercedes Benz, Columbus, Ohio, perhaps others.
I am uncertain as to the focus of the article. It is called "Texnikoi Engineering Honarary", which is a student organisation, yet some of the article, including a long list, is about outstanding alumni, a different matter altogether. What is the connection?
The article is very thin on detail. For example, what is the Armenian connection, mentioned in the first line but not thereafter? Also, although you have detailed the organisation's values, you haven't said anything about what Texnikoi Engineering Honorary actually does. Does it have activities, meetings, etc?
Format references properly. Each reference should give, minimally, a title, a publisher and an access date. Consult WP:Citation templates for information about how to do this.
The article is seriously under-referenced. What, for example, is the source of the "values" that you enunciate, or of the statements in the commentary on these values? What is the source of the long list of "other notable founders"? What is the source for the statement that the £250,000 provided by Avril's donation is the source of thousands of dollars of scholarship money? Basically, every statement of substance in the article requires a source, either by direct citation or in a list of sources.

I think that is enough from me. I am sorry if this all sounds rather negative, but in Wikipedia we all rely on others telling us what to do, and learn that way. I have not checked out the prose, although I have made a few punctuation edits. Good luck with the article, and I hope you are able to knock it into shape. Brianboulton (talk) 01:29, 17 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]