Wikipedia:Peer review/Tron: Legacy/archive2

Tron: Legacy

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… Old peer review cancelled due to construction tag still being on, have to re-submit.

Thanks, RAP (talk) 14:04 26 May 2012 (UTC)

Comments

What is CLU?
See WP:DASH for en-dashes in the lead rather than spaced hyphens.
"Kosinski wasn't interested" avoid contractions.
Last para of lead is odd, talks about how the production started in 2009 and then.....
And filming is active, so more likely "took place" than "occurred".
" abandoned Video arcade" no need for capital V here.
" Sam discovers a secret chamber in which Sam unintentionally " in which he...
No need to capitalise Light Cycle.
Don't think you need to link science, religion, medicine...
Nor sunrise.
"Owen Best plays the seven-year-old Sam Flynn." not sure why that needs to be indented. Would just add it, referenced, at the end of the main character bio.
"became the first feature film created entirely from computer animation" is that actually true? I thought there was live action before it became the computer animation?
I'm not sure you need to use ref [32] 8 consecutive times. Probably once per para would be sufficient.
"We also get a glimpse ..." not encyclopedic writing.
"along with a special presentation of material " why "special"?
"40 minutes of the film" most of the time I think we avoid starting sentences with a number.
Don't overlink 3D.
"That is not interference or a production fault" who said it was? Just explain what it is, not what it isn't.
Don't miss the diacritic on the Galapagos...
No need to link France.
" stradivarius" is a name so should be capitalised.
"used it a large scale simultaneously" I don't understand this at all.
"being then followed by " no need for "being then".
You link CSS but not GIF, why?
"Tron themed monorail passing through Epcot at the Walt Disney World Resort." period not required.
(enough of main body for now)
Don't mix date formats in the refs for the same parameter (i.e. don't have yyyy-mm-dd and dd mm yyyy mixed together for, say, access date).
Check titles for SHOUTING and incorrect use of hyphens per WP:DASH.
Decide if author names should be First Last or Last, First and be consistent.

The Rambling Man (talk) 09:05, 7 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]