Wikipedia:Peer review/Whip It (Devo song)/archive1

Whip It (Devo song)

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to nominate for Featured Article status. This seemingly insignificant 80s song has a lot more going for it than most people think, and I believe this article covers the song sufficiently. This would be the first song article I nominate for FA status, so I just wanted to know if I'm missing anything. Other comments are always appreciated.

I'm a firm believer in the "you scratch my back, I scratch yours" policy, so if you would like me to look over one of your articles, I'll be more than happy to do so.

Thanks, Famous Hobo (talk) 02:55, 13 March 2018 (UTC)

• I updated the infobox (easier than listing here). It appears the same, but makes it easier for changes, tracking, etc. The rest looks good, although the "Music video" section is light on citations. Good luck. —Ojorojo (talk) 19:50, 13 March 2018 (UTC)

Added a few more citations to the music video section, thanks for pointing that out. Famous Hobo (talk) 22:48, 14 March 2018 (UTC)

Comments from Freikorp

I'll be happy to provide a review shortly. If you could review my PR for Prison education in return, that would be appreciated. Cheers. Freikorp (talk) 02:01, 22 April 2018 (UTC)

• "The disc jockey Kal Rudman" - I'd drop 'The', but up to you.
• Might be of interest in the lead to mention whether the music video was filmed before or after the song became popular, since it was not expected to be a hit.
• 'that Casale notes is "kind of like white boys rapping"' - I'd replace 'notes' with 'said' or an equivalent as per WP:WORDS
• The piping 'Communist propaganda posters' just links to Communist propaganda. Accordingly, unlink the word 'posters' and just have that appear after the unpiped wikilink
• I'd introduce 'Cash Box' as a magazine so the reader has an idea of what it is.
• Since there is (surprisingly) an article on Energy dome, and it is specifically related to Devo, I think you can do a much better job of introducing it to the reader than 'hats called energy domes'. At the very least, say something like 'Devo's trademark energy dome hats'.
• 'asked Warner Bros. to give them non-recoupable promotional money to make videos for "Girl U Want" and "Freedom of Choice"' - did they end up getting the money? Also when did they ask for it?
• "Casale remarked: "I'm glad it was 'Whip It'," - I assume the 'it' that is being referred to is their only hit, but perhaps reword this to make it clearer for the reader somehow.

Hope this helps. Freikorp (talk) 02:49, 22 April 2018 (UTC)