Wikipedia:Peer review/William S. Powell/archive1

William S. Powell

I've listed this article for peer review because I think it is about an important person in North Carolina history and could use some input on what needs to be done.

Thanks, User:G._Moore, Talk Talk to G Moore 17:17, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

• With what we have already, this article is fine. I couldn't spot any problems with the existing content. One thing I did encounter was the first sentence in the lead: "...native of the Tar Heel State of North Carolina." I am no American. I clicked on the link to Tar Heel State, which was just a redirect to North Carolina. I then had to read a bit to realize it was simply a nickname for North Carolina (if I am not mistaken). This got me a bit confused, so I think you should find a way to rephrase it so non-Tar Heelians will understand it. As for the article itself, I believe there is much more to tell about someone who wrote more than 600 articles and books, especially in America. The article says he wrote some books. What about them? What subjects did Powell deal with? What new fields of North Carolinian history did he research? What impact did his books have on the historiography of this state? Are there any debates on the history of North Carolina that Powell holds a specific view on? And talking about views, do we know something about his views, political or social? Did he have some interesting collaborations with other scholars, or made some big projects worth mentioning? Are there any interesting facts about Powel that have led you to expand this article? Some stuff the average reader would be interested to know? I hope I am not going too far here, and that most of these questions can be answered with the sources accessible to you. I made a simple search on the internet and found this page which shows clearly that there is a lot more to tell about this man.--Bolter21 (talk to me) 17:49, 11 May 2019 (UTC)

• This is a good overview of his life, but I agree with Bolter21 that you're missing some of the substance of his work. For that you'll need new sources; the two ones you mainly have are not going to provide a full overview. For example, reading NCPedia I get the sense that his significance lies in the establishment of standard reference works: a gazetteer, a biographical dictionary, an encyclopedia. You are more likely to find such relevant information in scholarly book reviews or other comments by academics, rather than obituaries. Specific points:

• Don't overload the lead sentence—it's not a resume. "historian, writer, academic, teacher" are similar roles that are captured by simply saying "historian." But if he was notable as a historian and a professional baseball player, you'd clearly want to say both of those things.
• Avoid the obvious: It's not necessary to say the Philippines and Japan are "overseas".
• Don't repeat yourself: You write "...before returning to North Carolina to take a job in Raleigh, North Carolina at the North Carolina Division of Archives and History." Doesn't it communicate exactly the same if I say "...before taking a job at the North Carolina Division of Archives and History in Raleigh"? The reader will infer that he moved to Raleigh to do his job, and that Raleigh must be in North Carolina; you would probably say so if this was unexpectedly not true.
• Avoid fluff: "He made a major effort to expand the collection of historic documents about North Carolina and the people of North Carolina." That was his job as curator. What did he do specifically that is of note? Likewise, "He inspired others to contribute to the books that he edited" just describes the job of an editor.
• The list of works loses some of the historical context, e.g. the latest Gazetteer is simply given as "2010" when it's more important that he started it in 1966.

So the path forward for this article is to expand on the facts, while actually reducing the existing prose to be more to the point. Kim Post (talk) 23:16, 24 August 2019 (UTC)