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Addressed comments from Crisco 1492

[edit]
  • Comments from Crisco 1492
    • I feel really sorry for this nom, over a month and only one review. I'll try and give you something, at least.
Link for Bono 2003 is broken (probably missing a "ref=harv" in the cite book template).
There was a mismatch in the year parameter (probably a typo). Fixed now.
Images all look fine.
The operation formed part of the Croatian War of Independence and the Bosnian War, which were wars -> you've got "war" three times in like 15 words. Try rephrasing.
was actually commanded by HV Major General Ante Gotovina. - sounds somewhat... underwhelming. Nominal is a good word, but would "actually" be its opposite? "In practice", perhaps?
was followed up by - Do you need "by" here?
Dinara Mountain --> Mount Dinara would probably be more standard English. Sator -> Mount Sator too
on the left flank of the salient: dominating the area around the RSK capital. --> Colon or comma?
Knin - Link?
Yugoslav Presidency's approval of a JNA operation to disarm Croatian security forces in January 1991. - Wouldn't this be the Yugoslav president's approval? Or "the Yugoslave Presidency's"?
There was 8-member collective presidency, president of the presidency was not authorised to act without a majority vote - therefore adding "the".
wartime authorities - How can "wartime authorities" be given? Maybe "instigate wartime measures"?
I meant to say the army asked the presidency to authorise it to act as if it there was a state of war declared - in effect unlimited power to deploy and act militarily without further authorisation, disarm civilian authorities (police), enforce conscription, seize assets etc. I changed this bit of prose slightly, but I'm not quite sure I got the expression correctly. Could you recheck this please?
  • Since "wartime powers" is the solution offered right now, I assume that is fine to keep?
  • Maybe current formulation is clearer, having "state of emergency" first to lead readers in the right direction. I was equally surprised there's no such article. Should I redlink "wartime powers"?
Army of Republika Srpska (VRS) and Army of the Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina (ARBiH) - Not including the original name?
Standardise: % or per cent?
Linking countries may be overlinking, especially ones which are still extant (i.e. United States, France, and United Kingdom)
endorsed by Bill Clinton - You've been giving titles for everyone so far, so you should have "President Bill Clinton"
The body of text, overall, looks quite respectable. Will continue tomorrow or the next day. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 16:12, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for taking up this review. I hope I have successfully addressed the issues above, and I'm looking forward to further comments.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:56, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • to a line Zeleno Hill–Šaškin Peak–Veliki Bat Peak–Točila–Grkovci–Mali Orlovac Hill–Orlovac Hill–Nuglašica–Talijanov Peak–Pitoma Kosa–Tavanak. - Not sure this is grammatical
    • I replaced the entire string of these obscure toponyms by a more general geographic reference.
  • captured the strategic 1,831-metre (6,007 ft) Presedla and 1,777-metre (5,830 ft) Jankovo Brdo peaks on 14–18 March - Should "high" be put after the heights?
    • I don't think so. These "x-metre" expressions are used as adjectives here. I could change the expressions to nouns and add "high" if you prefer as in "x metres high". Would that be better?
  • Crni Lug - Worth a redlink?
  • Otherwise quite good. I strongly suggest that you

try reviewing other nominations if you want to drum up interest in this one; I usually review 3 to 5 articles for every one I nominate. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:04, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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