User:Maggieelize/sandbox

2012 Tunnel Creek Avalanche

Plagiarism:

none identified

My contribution:

Deleted "It is unusual for so many experts to be together outside of a competition." because i felt it wasn't relevant to the information in the article

The avalanche was characterized as a 200 feet across and 3 feet deep.

Three days before the avalanche occurred, a large snow storm dumped 32 inches into Stevens Pass.

This resulted in the unstable snow pack that was disrupted by skiers on their excursion.

changed "sixteen" to "fifteen" because the preliminary report only reported 15 skiers in the group

"Starting at an elevation of 5800 feet and a slope of 42 degrees"

Sources Added:

http://media.nwac.us.s3.amazonaws.com/media/filer_public/7c/cb/7ccb60b3-2ef9-4251-b7ac-fe770085a68b/preliminary_tunnel_creek_avalanche_accident_2-19-2012.pdf

1968 Tracy tornado

Plagiarism:

None identified

My contribution:

changed "150 injuries" 125 because my source said differently

added that the tornado hit at around 7:00

"A total of five tornadoes hit Minnesota on June 13, 1968."

"The wind speeds of the tornado reached over 300 mph"

"Eric Lantz took his award-winning photo of the Tracy tornado as it was leaving the town."

Sources Added:

http://www.dnr.state.mn.us/climate/summaries_and_publications/tornadoes.html

1979 Chicago blizzard

Plagiarism Identified:

I found no plagiarism.

My contribution:

"The blizzard lasted for a total of 38 hours and at its peak, the wind gust reached speeds of 39 miles per hour."

"Snow remained on the ground until March 6th, a full fifty-one days"

"It was expected to be only 2-4 inches of snow"

I changed "second largest blizzard" to "one of the largest" because several of the sources I viewed had varying opinions.

Sources added:

Second Edit Contribution:

Moved "Snow remained on the ground until March 6th, a full fifty-one days." because the place it was in interrupted another train of thought that I did not catch in my first contribution

Changed "At the time, .Commuters" to "At the time, commuters"

Added a source for"At the time, commuters crowded onto CTA buses, quickly overwhelming capacity, resulting in bus commutes usually taking 30 to 45 minutes taking up to several hours." and made sure it was not plaigerized

"Because of the blizzard, the excavation of the house of recently captured serial killer John Wayne Gacy had to be postponed" seem as if it is plagiarized, or at the very least needs a source, but I could not find where the previous contributor had gotten their information from. I ended up deleting the sentences, even though the information was cool tidbit, because I could not find a source and it also did not make sense anywhere in the article.

Broke up the two paragraphs into three in order for it to make more sense

Added the heading "After the Storm"

Mhubbe2 Feedback: 1979 Chicago Blizzard

Overall, the article does a good job at providing information on the effects of the blizzard. The article could use some improvements in the grammar and in the organization of the information. Also, some citations need to be added to make it a more solid article. To clean up the article and give it better organization it would probably help to create a lead section that provides a brief overview and then different sections for the different effects of the blizzard within the article. Another addition that might help in understanding this topic could be the mechanism of the storm. Your edits to the article helped in some clarity, but editing some more could make the article even clearer. -- Mhubbe2 (talk) 13:48, 4 October 2016 (UTC)