Wikipedia:Peer review/History of the National Hockey League (1942–1967)/archive1
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This is the second article in a series, the first being History of the National Hockey League (1917–1942), which is now a FA. I am looking for feedback on the quality of writing, and how well the article flows, especially in comparison to the first. All other comments are welcomed.
Thanks, Resolute 01:05, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
- This doesn't include one of my favorite hockey stories from this period: Bobby Baun scoring the winning goal in a vital Stanley Cup Finals game on a broken ankle. The article is well-organized as is, but is there any way this could be included?
- Here's a possible addition to the expansion section: the controversy over six more teams diluting the talent pool. It was a view held by many at the time, and many people feel that way about today's NHL.
- I'll look for some random writing improvements while I'm here. To start, I found the following typo: "O'Ree's breakthrough came a several years after another black player...".
- "Richard finally scored is 50th goal..."
- Regarding the Norris House League, has there been any talk of fishy transactions between the teams at the time?
- "and improve the NHL's chances of returning to television in the United States." It should say somewhere when the NHL lost its TV deal.
- "Vancouver lost it's chance the day it turned down the referendum on our arena proposal" Is the punctuation in "it's" correct in this quote?
- In the lead: "Maurice Richard became the first player to score 50-goals in a season in 1944-45." Hyphen isn't needed.
For the most part, it looks as good as the first in the series. Hopefully, these comments will help improve it further. Let me know if you want any more, otherwise I'll see you at FAC. Giants2008 (17-14) 20:15, 10 August 2008 (UTC)
- Good call on Baun. None of the three books I am primarily using made a big deal of that so I completely forgot about it. There is also a great image of Baun on his article too, which is really nice since I am finding it very difficult to find freely licensed images from about 1950 to 2000. The rest of the spelling mistakes have been corrected as well. ;) Resolute 02:59, 11 August 2008 (UTC)