Wikipedia:Peer review/Secrets That I Never Want to Know/archive1

Secrets That I Never Want to Know

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe it can reach GA status with a few adjustments.

Thanks, Akcvtt (talk) 21:36, 10 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this interesting article. I have never seen this series, so not sure if that makes me a good reviewer or not. Here are some suggestions for improvement.

A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - see Category:FA-Class television articles for 97 FAs on television, some of which seem like they would be useful models for this article.
One dab link here
If the killing was truly accidental, then it is not murder (by definition). It is still homicide and is probably manslaughter since it is accidental. I would change the lead sentence to something like The episode focuses on the aftermath and cover-up of an accidental killing. I would avoid the word murder throughout - killing or homicide or manslaughter might be useful alternatives
I would read WP:IN-U carefully to make sure this is written from an out-of-universe perspective.
In the Background section, it might help to say that the narrator's death was in the pilot episode. Or instead of "In recent episodes" could the actual episodes be linked / specified? I assume the killing was in the previous season's finale, for example.
I would look at some recent model FA articles to see how they handle tense. Since some of the events described happened prior to this episode, it seems to me that they should be written in past tense (not present)
Awkwardly written and odd tense (see above): Carlos Solis (Ricardo Antonio Chavira) accidentally kills his wife Gabrielle's (Eva Longoria) stepfather, Alejandro (Tony Plana), who raped her in her childhood and returns to inflict more harm. Would something like this be better In the season seven finale, Carlos Solis (Ricardo Antonio Chavira) accidentally killed his wife Gabrielle's (Eva Longoria) stepfather, Alejandro (Tony Plana). Alejandro, who raped Gabrielle in her childhood, had returned to inflict more harm.
Shouldn't it be plural "actresses" in Lead actress Marcia Cross, Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, and Eva Longoria signed on for an eighth season...
Kind of a blah sentence The episode also continues the relationship between Bree and Chuck, which is complicated by her involvement in the cover-up. perhaps "further develops" or "develops" instead of continues?
This seemed odd - The episode received generally positive reviews. followed immediately by a whole paragraph of Stanhope's mixed review from TV Guide.
If this were up at FAC I would say it relies a little too much on direct quotes - try to paraphrase a bit more and save quotes for the really good stuff. At GAN, this would probably be OK.
The one image has a fair use rationale. Might be there are some free images of the creators (writer / director / actors) that could be added.
Refs seems OK, though I am not up on my TV refs.
Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 13:25, 1 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Copied from Ruhrfisch talk page

Thank you for your comments on "Secrets That I Never Want to Know". I'm in the process of making the adjustments you suggested. I did have one question regarding the tense in the Background sentence. My initial instinct was to write that information in past tense, but I was advised in the PR for another episode article to write the Background information in the present tense since it is fiction. I cannot seem to find a clear consensus or rule as to what tense this kind of information should be written in. I guess I'm asking which you think is more appropriate. Thanks again -- Akcvtt (talk) 18:23, 1 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Response to question about use of past tense in the Background section.

First off, I am not an expert on writing articles about fiction here. That said, to me it just seems odd to write about events which are clearly prior to this episode in the present too (I understand writing about the episode itself in the present tense).
I read Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Writing about fiction and it talks a bit about time - not sure I understand it, but it may help you.
I would look at some recent FAs on TV episodes and see if you can find some that have a background section and see what tense they use.
I think it would also help to ask on either the WikiProject Television talk page, or the talk page for Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Writing about fiction and see what the good folk there think.

Sorry not to be of more help with this issue, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 01:51, 2 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]